Chuck Norris...
 

1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

2. A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

3. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

4. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

7. Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

8. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

9. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".

11. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

12. When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey, " and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."

13. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

14. Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.

:rofl::rofl:

:kneeslap: :funny: :banana:

chuck norris sucks! and guess what? he's not gonna magically appear and roundhouse kick me in the face. in fact, most of the kicks he throws arent even roundhouses!

chuck norris = worm food.


that is all

Sean Connery > Chuck Norris

chuck norris=annoying...'nuff said, end of topic, lol

:werd: :threadsu:

The whole chuck norris thing was funny the first time I found out about it, but now that everyone and their mothers is constantly talking about it, its really annoying.

*edit*

this whole thing will probably end up just like the macarena, who let the dogs out, the thighmaster and all those other things that were everywhere and now you couldnt find them if your life depended on it.

They still play the electric slide! we listen to it in wood shop :bow:

WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!:rofl:

that is nothing to be proud of.

yeah I know...but everyone actually does it...Im like wtf and cut some wood with the chop saw!

:werd:

- Justin

my jeep > chuck norris

and thats saying something!!!