How to drive in Jersey
 

Got this in an e-mail :lol:

How To Drive In Jersey...
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> Seriously, there are only two things needed to drive
> effectively in NJ: A horn and a middle finger.
> Everything else is superf luous, including knowing where you
> are going.
> For those of you who live in Jerseyor have lived there,
> these things may come as no surprise. For those who
> haven't travelled there before,
> Beware, Be Prepared and Be Afraid,,,, Be Very Afraid.
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> 1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is
> Nork - rhymes with Fork, not New-ark. Also, Trentonis not
> pronounced Tren-ton, it is Trent-in.
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> 2. The morning rush hour is from 5 AM to NOON. The evening
> rush hour is from NOON to 7 PM. Friday's rush hour
> starts on Thursday morning.
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> 3. The minimum acceptable speed on the turnpike is 85 mph.
> On the parkway it's 105 or 110. Anything less is
> considered "Sissy." (Just ask the Governor of NJ)
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> 4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Jersey
> has its own version of traffic rules. For example,
> cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way
> stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second;
> However, in Monmouth and Burlingtoncounties, SUV-driving,
> cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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> 5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear
> ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.
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> 6. Never honk at anyone. EVER ! Seriously. It's
> another offense that can get you shot.
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> 7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of
> Jersey. Detour barrels are moved around for your
> entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to
> make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.
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> 8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks,
> dogs, cats, barrels, cones, Celebes, rubber-neckers, shredded
> tires, cell-phoners, deer and other road kill, and the
& gt; Homeless feeding on any of these items.
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> 9. MapQuest does NOT work here -- none of the roads are
> where they say they are or go where they say they do and all
> the Turnpike EZ Pass lanes are moved each night once again
> to make your ride more exciting.
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> 10.. If someone actually has their Turn Signal ON, wave them
> to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been
> "accidentally activated."
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> 11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a
> 55-65mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will
> be "flipped off" accordingly. If you return the
> flip, you'll be shot.
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> 12. Do not try to estimate travel time -- just leave Monday
> afternoon for Tuesday appointments, by noon Thursday for
> Friday appointments, and right after church on Sunday for
> anything on Monday morning.
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> SAFE DRIVING ! ! !

Bahahaha thats awesome

Don't forget that, if you're driving in the marlton circle, its suddenly legal to make left turns from the right lane, to block intersections, to barrel into oncoming traffic dispite 3 yield signs and yield painted on the asphalt, to run lights, to honk at people on the highway when they wont stop traffic to let you in, and to cross over lanes whenever you please just because the road is curved.


the circle makes me angry a little bit.

i was only running in for a second IS NOT an acceptable excuse. penalties start a $100

that is awesome you should hear the stories my mom tells me now that she moved to maine after living jersey for 39 years

hahahhaa definitely need to add left turns from right lanes to the list.

and something about jughandles. and passing in the left lane instead of cruising in it.

also confusion and accidents are expected when roundabouts are utilized...:lol:

I miss driving in jersey, especially a friday night heading down to wildwood.

It's not that bad from what I'm used too. But I will say I almost get into a wreck every time the light turns green from an intersection and the opposite side does a lefthanded turn in front of me.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear
ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.

HAHAHA thats the best one

how about when someone cuts u off and u r real close to their bumper while they are doing so they yell and flip u off like u were in the wrong..

That pronunciation of Trenton is way wrong. To say it correctly you must abandon the concept that there is a second "t" in the word. "Tren-en" would be more accurate. lol

that is 100 percent correct. trenen born n raised

:soapbox: :rofl:

trenen sounds like a prison camp.......but it prob is