kinda hard to follow that story. i guess you should've calmed down some before posting it up.
if she barely missed you, why would you friend follow you through the intersection? i understand yellow lights and how no one wants to sit through one and a red light, especially if someone is following you and they might not know how to get where you are going or whatever.
the major thing is safety. that's what defensive driving is all about. screw the other person and their car - make sure YOU are the one who is safe and follow safe procedures. anytime you go through a yellow light you should be even more aware of what is going on around you. over here by me, the traffic lights can be controlled by emergency vehicles - which means if the light changes there might be an ambulance or cop coming through the intersection next. in all my years of driving i have only been involved in one traffic accident. that comes from being aware and assuming that the other driver is going to do something stupid or unsafe.
it all comes down to CYA.
sorry about your friend's car, but i am glad everyone made it through without any major injuries.