[johnjzjz]

The following 15 New Jersey state Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the state .


#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll
stretch after you wear them a while."


# 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth
certificate a worthless document."


#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."


#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the
speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."


#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can
write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"


#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't
think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"


#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that
again or I'll give you another ticket."


#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"


#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you
go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy & corn dogs & step in monkey
poop."


#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets & my wife gets a toaster
oven."


#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."


#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"


#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're
allowed to write as many tickets as we can."


#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal
friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."




The envelope please.....................




...AND THE WINNER IS....




#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we
don't. Sign here."