[jims69camaro]

IMO, you are comparing apples to oranges. you are comparing someone who was misdiagnosed with some mental deficiency who uses it for her personal gain to someone who is truly diseased.

there are levels that alcoholism may affect a person. sure, if you are a social alcoholic, as when a group of friends gets together, alcohol is bought and consumed. you have a choice to drink or not drink, but since everyone else is doing it, then it is acceptable and you do it. that is choosing.

taking this one step further, you drink at every opportunity. friends get together, alcohol is purchased and consumed, it is acceptable. you drink a cocktail upon returning from work. it was a hard day and you deserve a cocktail. still acceptable, still ok. you have a glass of wine with dinner. still acceptable, still ok, still making a choice, right? after everyone leaves, you stay up. wife/gf wants to go to bed, you say no, i am staying up. you finish every drop of alcohol in the house, leaving no stone unturned. still acceptable? still ok? some would argue that, yes, it is still ok. but the disease is present and unless something is done, it will devour your life.

you go out to a party. before leaving, you have a shot or two "to take the edge off". still acceptable. once you get to the party, you consume enough alcohol to be the one dancing around with a lampshade on your head. or some other behavior that is considered "the life of the party". still acceptable? still ok? you refuse to give your keys up. you drove there, you are going to drive home. no one is able to talk you out of it. you are legally drunk, but drive anyway. no one is going to tell you when you can drive your car. your wife/gf, having seen this behavior before, knows not to interfere with you or you may become violent. she goes along for the ride. you get home safely, but cannot remember how you got home. parts of the party are either completely blacked out or "fuzzy". still aceptable? still ok? while only the hardcore alcoholics would argue that the behavior at this point is still acceptable, others know it clearly is marking you as a raging drunk who becomes more violent with the more alcohol you consume. certain friends stop inviting you over. your colleagues at work stop wanting to have a beer with you, since it goes from one beer to ten very quickly, and then you get violent when someone wants to go home, calling them a party pooper. your in-laws are deeply concerned for their daughter, but after her repeated statements that you are just going through "one of your states" and they figure you'll snap out of it one of these days. only your other affected friends will drink with you now, as they are also violent when they drink so it usually ends the night when two or more of you get into a fist fight. no big deal, as the black eye you got last night will be gone in a few days. people you work with have stopped talking to you, but don't think they have stopped talking behind your back. someone mentions an intervention - someone else thinks it's a better idea if your family does it, as you might not consider those you work with worthy of your respect. all the while they marvel at how your dress code has changed and the black eyes and split lips that pop up from time to time. your in-laws, at this point, are heavily trying to influence their daughter into leaving you, as you have begun using her as a punching bag when you get home from the bar. of course you say you are sorry in the morning, and she might even believe you for now. but she is one punch from the door, believe it. and if you have kids with her they will go with her, and the judge will agree with her. he might even think you'll listen to him when he tells you to "shape up, mister, or i'll be throwing you in jail", but he knows you are most likely going to ignore him. you've begun to drink alone, since the others who used to drink with you won't anymore. that, and most of your friends have been ignoring you for well over a year. your wife left you and took the kids with her. you are not allowed to visit with them without proper supervision, and they have started calling another man "daddy". you have lost your job, since your employer has warned you time and again about coming to work smelling of alcohol in dirty clothes. since your wife left you, you can't figure out how to get the damn washing machine to work - or is it the alcohol that has crept into every facet of your life that clouds your reasoning ability? you are now homeless, begging for money so you can get a bottle to put you to sleep since it's started getting very cold out and none of your friends will put you up anymore.

when did it go from having a choice to controlling your life? now do you understand why it is considered a disease? i am not talking about your mis-diagnosed friend here - this is someone who truly has a problem.

it was easy to see in my example how it went from social drinking to begging for money on the street; not so easy to see when you are on the inside looking out. all you see are people pulling away from you. like i said, it has different levels of affliction, so it might not lead all the way to bottom like i've shown here. hell, losing a gf is one way guys find bottom and decide to join AA or find some other help.

it's not a choice, is what i am saying to you. it is the most destructive, and affects the most number of people in our society.

btw, the person in my story was fictional. obviously, certain parts i have seen in family and friends, so it's more appropriate to say that he is a conglomeration of aspects of the disease as i have seen it in others and myself.