From the Manitoba Herald, Canada

[johnjzjz]

From the Manitoba Herald, Canada (a very underground paper):

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration.

The actions of President Bush are prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly.

Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.

"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry.

"He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through.

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border, and leave them to fend for themselves.

"A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. "They did have a very respectable little Napa Valley Cabernet, though."

When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing reeducation camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races without the shots required by the Dems .

In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers on Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were alive in the '50s. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the Susan Sarandon movies.

"I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does one country need?

hahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahaha i think its funny -- jz

[maroman88]

hahaha

[Anti_Rice_Guy]

Good stuff...and I have a feeling it will be the opposite if Hlilary wins.

[Frosty]

GREAT thread

Originally Posted by Anti_Rice_Guy

Good stuff...and I have a feeling it will be the opposite if Hlilary wins.

God help us if she gets in.

[Ian]

Originally Posted by Frosty

God help us if she gets in.

she wont, too many people hate her.

[Frosty]

Maybe so Ian, but a lot of people despise the Republicans right now. I personally think Giuliani will get the nod from the right...which is going to alienate A LOT of the hardcore Christian right. He has my vote, Christ, I'd rather vote for Donald Duck than that psycho woman lol

[Firebird67dude]

Hilary FTL!!!! If she wins its been nice knowin you guys, I'll never come home if she goes in.

[Knipps]

Stephen Colbert for president!

[Anti_Rice_Guy]

Originally Posted by Knipps

Stephen Colbert for president!

saw that on facebook....he should definitely run, he'd most likely win by a landslide haha. Yea I'm banking on the fact that people from every walk of life/politcal party hate hillary. Although Obama's history is freaky too.