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06-07-2007, 12:45 PM
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#1
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: Midland Park, NJ
Posts: 1,389
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funny
After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.
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P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
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06-07-2007, 12:49 PM
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#2
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Jim Thorpe PA
Posts: 2,134
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 HAHAHAHAHAHA especially like the last two
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06-07-2007, 12:54 PM
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#3
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Co-Founder / Site Admin
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Ewing, NJ
Posts: 22,476
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alamantia
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
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That's no midget.....it's Fidget!
- Justin
__________________
1999 Camry - Beigemobile DD
2002 Suburban - Wife's DD
2004 Grand Cherokee - Not running / Project / Selling?
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06-07-2007, 01:05 PM
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#4
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Stalker
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 12,082
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tru2Chevy
That's no midget.....it's Fidget!
- Justin
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fidget is undercover for FedEx and trying to sabotage UPS!!!
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06-07-2007, 01:21 PM
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#5
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Admin.
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Hamilton, NJ
Posts: 20,165
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"Live bugs on back-order" LOL That list is great.
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Vent Windows Forever!
The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand. Or so I have read.
Feather-light suspension, Konis just couldn't hold. I'm so glad I took a look inside your showroom doors.
Hey everybody, it's good to have you on the Baba-too-da-ba-too-ba-ba-buh-doo-ga-ga-bop-a-dop
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06-07-2007, 01:32 PM
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#6
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: North Jersey
Posts: 3,047
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That's great!!!!!!!
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Seeya,
Steve R. in North Jersey
'16 Go-Mango Dodge Charger R/T. It's so good to be back in a V8-powered, RWD car!
Former Toy - '88 Monte SS - had lots of mods...
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06-07-2007, 01:50 PM
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#7
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Mount Holly, NJ
Posts: 242
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Hehe. I love those. Every time I've seen it before it's supposed to be Qantas not UPS, though. Still funny.
__________________
'81 Sport Coupe 229 V6 -Junked
'93 Z28 LT1 - Parting out
"Is that a rat? No, it's just a really fat mouse."
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06-07-2007, 02:01 PM
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#8
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: forked river nj
Posts: 609
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lol
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06-07-2007, 02:40 PM
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#9
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Boston/North
Posts: 9,214
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Quote:
Originally Posted by B4C
HAHAHAHAHAHA especially like the last two |
i lol'ed
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by BonzoHansen
dumbass.
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06-07-2007, 02:45 PM
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#10
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Ayatollah of Rock N Rolla / Admin
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Parts Unknown
Posts: 12,573
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hardline_42
Hehe. I love those. Every time I've seen it before it's supposed to be Qantas not UPS, though. Still funny.
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Yeah, I've seen it as Qantas as well, and still funny.
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06-07-2007, 02:56 PM
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#11
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Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 429
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funny, but not real !
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06-07-2007, 03:16 PM
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#12
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Ewing, NJ
Posts: 164
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lmao! i'm a super at UPS. those comments are in no way, shape, or form out of the realm of possibility of being true. we have 125 package cars in our building and every night it's the same deal, driver writes down what's wrong, mechanics reply. there's always smartass comments on their sheets. they're all f*ckin crazy...too much deisel in the brain.
those r great, gonna hang it up at work ...printing....
__________________
>2008 Corvette - Borla catback/K&N
>2004 Jeep Grand Cherokee Limited 4.7L HO 4x4 black/grey
>1985 Honda Sabre V65 1100 - jetted/K&N
Last edited by 89CamaroRS; 06-07-2007 at 03:17 PM.
Reason: stupid smilies
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