chemistry joke - NJFBOA - Home of New Jersey's Camaros and Firebirds

qwikz28 · 02-08-2007, 09:46 AM

an ion says to another ion, "crap! i lost an electron!" the other ion replies, "dude, are you sure?" so the first ion replies back "yeah man, i'm positive!"

Knipps · 02-08-2007, 09:55 AM

I hate you... i laughed at it...

i knew what was coming too...

slasherbarb · 02-08-2007, 10:14 AM

Untamed · 02-08-2007, 10:26 AM

*groan* Geek humor.

Knipps · 02-08-2007, 10:30 AM

Q. If a bear in Yosemite, and one in Alaska fall into water, which one would dissolve faster?
A. The bear in Alaska because it's polar.

Knipps · 02-08-2007, 10:36 AM

Q: What do chemists use to make guacomole?
A: Avogadros.

Q: How many atoms in a guacamole?
A: Avocado's number.

Q. What do you do when you find a dead chemist?
A. Barium.

Q. What is the purpose of a doctor?
A. Helium.

Teds89IROC · 02-08-2007, 12:54 PM

I laughed, used to be an engineering major so I recognized that stuff

qwikz28 · 02-08-2007, 06:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chevelle 454

Q. If a bear in Yosemite, and one in Alaska fall into water, which one would dissolve faster?
A. The bear in Alaska because it's polar.

i like this one... the rest sucked :finger:

Fast92RS · 02-08-2007, 07:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by slasherbarb

Kojak · 02-08-2007, 08:27 PM

lol nice but do you know any nerd pick up lines..?

I wish I was the derivative of your tangent lines so I can lay on your curves.
or
If I were an enzyme I would be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes...

Knipps · 02-08-2007, 08:32 PM

You can put a Trojan on my Hard Drive anytime.

By looking at you I can tell you're 36-25-36, which by the way are all perfect squares.

or

Quote:

I know Im not much out here in what me and my friends call "The real world" but trust me... come to the places I hang out and you will see how great I am.

There is this internet forum that Ive been the member of now for years and Ive got one of the highest number of posts possible. You should see me on there, Ive got this cool name, an avatar that I change.. I mean release once a month and always have some comment to add to someones post that makes me sound so original. In many ways im like an internet evangelist.. ooh no, more like a rebel with a conscience, no Im serious - I cant be corrupted, it says so in the little message I have displayed at the bottom of ever post I make.

If you don't believe me, Ive got all the messages forum members have sent me over the last few years saying how brilliant the things I do in posts are, and how we should meet up on IRC, most of them I disappoint because I just have so much work to do as the main assistant to a 20 year old moderator who's even more in tune with whats happening to this world than me. Ive had my name checked now in about 75 seperate posts, thats 75 people who know adding my name to their post will let others know there are part of the main group that make our forum run.

So would you like to go out with me some time? Im free every night til about 9pm, oh and you look very pretty today.

Pampered-Z · 02-09-2007, 11:27 AM

An oldie - but still funny.

The Chemistry test

There was once these these two guys who were taking Chemistry and who did pretty well on all of the quizzes and the midterms and labs, etc., such that going into the final they had a solid A. These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week (even though the Chem final was on Monday), they decided to go up to the State U and party with some friends up there.

So they did this and had a great time. However, with their hangovers and everything, they overslept all day Sunday and could not make it back in time for their exam. They located their professor, and pretended that they had a flat tire and didn't have a spare... could they take the exam as a makeup?

The professor thought this over and then agreed that they could make up the final on the following day. The two guys were elated and relieved.

So, they studied that night and went in the next day at the time that the professor had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet and told them to begin. They looked at the first problem, which was something simple about molarity and solutions and was worth 5 points. Cool they thought, this is going to be easy.... They did that problem and then turned the page. They were unprepared, however, for what they saw on the next page.

It said:

(95 points) Which tire?