The Official Patty's Day thread

[Kojak]

Post up your incoherent inebriated babble of a stupor of green booze and Irish dance by the end of the night.
Stay safe tonight, Happy St. Patrick Day.

PS: If this thread is empty by tomorrow morning ill be disappointed…

[GP99GT]

now its not empty

[johnjzjz]

GUIDE FOR YOU FOR ST PATRICK'S DAY


IRISH BEER TROUBLESHOOTING GUIDE


SYMPTOM
CAUSE
CORRECTIVE ACTION

Feet cold and wet
Glass Being held at incorrect angle.
Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling

Feet warm and wet
Improper Bladder Control
Stand next to nearest dog, complain about lack of house training

Beer unusually pale and tasteless
a. Glass empty.

b. You're holding a Coors Lite
Get someone to buy you another beer

Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights
You have fallen over backward.
Have yourself leashed to the bar

Mouth contains cigarette butts, back of head covered with ashes
You have fallen forward
See above

Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet
a. Mouth not open

b. Glass applied to wrong part of face
Retire to restroom, practice in front of mirror

Floor Blurred
You are looking through bottom of empty glass
Get someone to buy you another beer

Floor moving
You are being carried out
Find out if you are being taken to another bar

Room seems unusually dark
Bar has closed
Confirm home address with bartender. If staff is gone, grab a six-pack to go and hit the nearest fire escape door. Run .

Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures
Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations
Cover mouth, open window, stick head outside

Everyone looks up to you and smiles
You are dancing on the table
Fall on someone cushy-looking

Beer is crystal-clear (my fav)
It's water! Somebody is trying to sober you up
Punch him

People are standing around urinals, talking or putting on makeup
You're in the ladies' room
Do not use urinal! Excuse yourself, exit and try the next door down the hall. Try to get phone numbers before exiting (optional)

Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear
You have been in a fight
Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them

Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in
You've wandered into the wrong party
See if they have free beer

Your bedroom is painted gray, has a concrete floor and an interesting steel door. Toilet may be conveniently located next to your bunk
a. You're in jail

b. You're in the navy
Sleep it off, you can always get out tomorrow. Don't talk to your new roommate, and under no circumstances sleep on your stomach

You are dancing to a Village People song, and your partner is wearing leather chaps
You're in a gay bar
Keeping your back to the wall, edge toward nearest exit. Do not accept offers for backrubs

Your singing sounds distorted
The beer is too weak
Have more beer until your voice improves

Don't remember the words to the song
Beer is just right
Play air guitar

[bad64chevelle]

Sorry, being broke sucks...no incoherent talk from me tonight

[Ian]

Originally Posted by johnjzjz

Beer is crystal-clear (my fav)
It's water! Somebody is trying to sober you up
Punch him

[Kojak]

bbgvyn67ujhmb cv vfbrgn7ujhmbnhtgvvfc btgv f cvrtgf

[Ian]

I got pretty drunk last night. I was gonna drunk dial people, but I couldnt work my phone

thank god for designated drivers!

oh, and thank god for all those smoking hot redheads at the bar last night. I've never seen so many in one place like that before

[unstable bob gable]

Did youz guyz know that St Patty was really English? Honest Injun! He was kidnapped in England at age 16, and sold into slavery in Ireland.

[Kojak]

Originally Posted by unstable bob gable

Did youz guyz know that St Patty was really English? Honest Injun! He was kidnapped in England at age 16, and sold into slavery in Ireland.

Did they shave your testicles and beat you in a burlap bag..?

[Squirrel]

"an evil petting zoo?"
"YOU ALWAYS DO THAT!"

[BigAls87Z28]

Originally Posted by Ian

...oh, and thank god for all those smoking hot redheads at the bar last night. I've never seen so many in one place like that before

x10000
No such things, unless they were on fire. Brunettes FTW.

[PBodyGT87]

I spent St. Patty's at the Rangers game in NYC. Dancing Larry FTW!

Earlier that day I saw the parade down 5th, went to Fitzgeralds for some corned beef and cabbage with boiled potatos and carrots, had myself a Killians, (keeping it light), cleaned the apartment, and then to that Rangers game where I sat next to two Canadians with Boston jersies on (rangers 7, bruins 0!) had MSG's idea of "green beer" (a translucent green cup) and then back the the apartment, and then out again to Grassroots and the Hairy Monk.

[Ian]

Originally Posted by BigAls87Z28

x10000
No such things, unless they were on fire. Brunettes FTW.

trust me, I prefer brunettes as well, but these redheads were definitely hot!

[Brando56894]

suprisingly i wasnt drunk at all