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For all interested in genealogy
For all interested in genealogy
Subject: Who is Jack Schitt?
For some time many of us have wondered just
who is Jack Schitt?
We find ourselves at a loss when someone says,
'You don't know Jack Schitt!'
Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts,
you can now respond in an intellectual way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.
Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the
owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt.
The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt,
Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt,
and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt,
a high school dropout.
After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.
Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and
because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her
previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt,
And they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition
named Chicken Schitt.
Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt
were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married
the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.
The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced
the Schitt-Happens nuptials.
The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.
He recently returned from Italywith his new Italian bride,
PisaSchitt.
Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,'
you can correct them.
Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt
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