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06-10-2015, 09:44 AM
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#1
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Admin.
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Hamilton, NJ
Posts: 20,149
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Who needs a riding tractor?
https://raleigh.craigslist.org/grd/5051682011.html
Quote:
For sale: one early 80's Craftsman riding lawn mower with an 11 horse power engine and 30" mowing deck. Bottom line, this beast is a sick ride! In fact, I'd even say it's the El Camino of yard whips. Just take a look at those sweet ass rims. So dope they look rented. #arethosedubs?
Wait, is that a chicken in the background? Damn straight! Because the Craftsman riding lawn mower was considered the barnyard pimp of its day. Get yer yerrd on, fool!
Is it fast? Ever heard of old school 3 on the tree? Well, this whip's got 8 on the hip. That's right, 8 screamin' gears of merciless speed! Need to mow that $h!t Richard petty style? No problem. Snappin' necks and mowin' decks, homie...
Just look at this beast. It even has the original factory pin striping. This NASCAR style speed demon will look quick just sitting in your driveway. Neighbors be like "SMH with envy." Don't dare put this baby in the shed. She deserves the garage. #nooneputsbabyinthecorner
Does it run, you ask? HELLS YEAH! Like a pack of Kenyans on crystal meth! This bad boy just got a carburetor rebuild, new seals all the way around and a brand new battery installed. Turns over quicker than your prom date. And you don't even need to buy it wine coolers.
Don't get me started on the mowing deck! 30 full inches of precision slicin' and dicin'. Cuts better than Edward Scissor Hands and Lorena Bobbit in a knife fight. And this blade runner has 8 cutting heights! Go full Brazilian with a 1 inch cut, or bring your field of dreams up to 8 inches, 1970's style; your choice. All I'm sayin' is this mo-fo fades a lawn better than a set of hair clippers at Fantastic Sams. Whaaaa?
But can I mow with it at night, you ask? Who hasn't awoken at O'dark:30 to mow their lawn black ops style? No problem with this night rider. It has a fully functioning head light, Michael. #Getyerdarkon
Pretty sure this man-ride is the luxury model. It's equipped with a plush pleather spring ride seat for those Brokeback yards, 10 inch Kung Fu grip steering wheel and rubberized foot pads. Ain't no footloose goin' on up in here. Safety first, homies!
You: So how much is this Kentucky bluegrass love machine?
Me: Just $500.°°.
You: Wait, what?
Me: That's right, you heard me, only $500 greenbacks.
The world: How is that possible?
Me: my family and I have enjoyed using this cutting-deck of dope-ness since it's immaculate inception back in the 80's. Can you say one owner? Yup!
It's time this black pearl set sail and find another crew to roll with. It's faded many lawns in its day and is looking for the greener grass on your side of the fence.
Don't wait to call or you'll be tellin' stories about the one that got away for the rest of your life, or call me now and become the lawn jockey you always dreamed to be.
No texts, please. I need to hear your voice and know that this family pet is going to a 100% full blooded american. #Merica
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__________________
Vent Windows Forever!
The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand. Or so I have read.
Feather-light suspension, Konis just couldn't hold. I'm so glad I took a look inside your showroom doors.
Hey everybody, it's good to have you on the Baba-too-da-ba-too-ba-ba-buh-doo-ga-ga-bop-a-dop
Last edited by BonzoHansen; 06-10-2015 at 09:45 AM.
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06-10-2015, 10:21 AM
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#2
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Millstone twp
Posts: 541
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entertaining to say the least
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06-10-2015, 12:27 PM
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#3
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 52
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the ad alone makes me want to buy it. factory pin striping lol.
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06-10-2015, 09:39 PM
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#4
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: milltown
Posts: 1,497
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i mean it is pretty clean for its age lol
__________________
2002 Camaro Sunset Orange Mettalic, V6, 5spd, bilstein HD shocks and struts, eibach pro lowering kit, eibach f/r sway bars, lakewood PHB, UMI 2 point subframe connectors, energy suspensions poly master bushing kit
daily econobox and first car
1986 IROC-Z, T56, MGW shifter, Heads, Cam, Holley Stealth Ram 350, t-top, tubular LCA with relo brackets, adjustable PHB, belltech sway bars, ground control weight jacks, SLP mid length headers, 3in w/borla XR1, RIP 3 10 bolts, 12.7 @ 109 so far.. atleast its faster than stock SOLD
1971 Camaro LS3/T56/9in, cam only and still carbed, RIP 2 10 bolts, 11.62@121
03 Blazer 2 door - salt sponge
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