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05-18-2007, 07:12 PM
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#1
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Somerset County
Posts: 5,559
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There's a penis in the bush
Most of you know what my job is and we just got another winner of a call. I'll try and re-create as much of the call as i can remember.
[pre-teenage girl voice]"Hi, yes, me and my friends were walking over by the ------- building and we were taking a shortcut through the bushes and...omg this sounds so weird...but it's for real...we were walking through the bushes and it looks like there's a penis in the bushes. I mean it's definately not sausage cuz it has a head and bal- i mean testicles."
Now envision me, trying to take this call with a straight face, while BOTH my co-workers are literally on the floor laughing their asses off.
edit: I just went back to the recording and here's a little more word-for-word..."It's definately got a head and skin and bal- i mean testicles and i mean we moved it with a stick and its covered in ants"
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1999 Corvette FRC
Last edited by j0n; 05-18-2007 at 07:21 PM.
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05-18-2007, 07:14 PM
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#2
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Somerset County
Posts: 5,559
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update...
[stern policeman voice]"Headquarters that's negative on human body part, it's a sausage"
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1999 Corvette FRC
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05-18-2007, 07:37 PM
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#3
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: West Long Branch
Posts: 13,598
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What the ef?
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2/20/2013: They Day the ****s Stopped
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05-18-2007, 07:40 PM
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#4
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Somerset County
Posts: 5,559
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bro i couldnt make this s*** up if i tried
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1999 Corvette FRC
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05-18-2007, 07:57 PM
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#5
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12 Second Club
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: West Milford
Posts: 8,373
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hahahahaha. im actully applying a few places for the same job u have
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88 Camaro
95 Impala SS
97 Trans Am WS6
98 Blazer ZR2
00 Corvette
04 CTS-V
04 Grand Cherokee
06 GMC Sierra
07 Sublime Charger Daytona
12 Tahoe LT
17 Malibu LT
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05-18-2007, 08:02 PM
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#6
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 5,623
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I'm guessing some kind of security??? Still funny as all hell..."we have visual contact with possible penis, approching with caution"
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2000 Tahoe Z71 5.7
1982 Z28 Pacecar 305
1999 S10 
Last edited by bubba428; 05-18-2007 at 08:02 PM.
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05-18-2007, 08:12 PM
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#7
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BadMod
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: hamilton, nj
Posts: 8,889
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hes a police disbatcher...not security
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So much stupid, so little time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 79CamaroDiva
It started before I drove your car. I just have to look at it the wrong way and your car poops parts.
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Mercerville MotorSports, LLC
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05-18-2007, 08:14 PM
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#8
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 5,623
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well its kinda the same job...I was just guessing
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2000 Tahoe Z71 5.7
1982 Z28 Pacecar 305
1999 S10
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05-18-2007, 09:00 PM
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#9
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Hot Liz, Cold Beer
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Ewing, NJ
Posts: 1,497
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hahaha, how did the sausage have balls then?
__________________
*Creator of the esteemed "Buddy List" thread. (RIP)*
*Creator of the short-lived Ignore List Thread (RIP)*
1987 Pontiac Fiero GT- Stock 2.8 aluminum "boat anchor" Runs like a champ. Needs a chip now!
Also: 1974 Honda CB550/four. Ah, the OPEN-open road.
99 Saturn SW1. Flaunting a fender "blemish" (large gaping hole) thanks to a hit a run. Never caught the guy. Permanent Driveway Status at Justin's.
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05-18-2007, 09:04 PM
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#10
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Somerset County
Posts: 5,559
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PBodyGT87
hahaha, how did the sausage have balls then?
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i didnt ask but the first officer on scene spent ~10 min...i assume "looking" at the sausage before his backup keyed up on the radio, so it was apparantly a very convincing sausage-penis 
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1999 Corvette FRC
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05-18-2007, 09:08 PM
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#11
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: north jersey
Posts: 1,680
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the cop probably knew it was a sausage and just was standing there debating on whether to eat it or not lol
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05-18-2007, 09:08 PM
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#12
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Ewing, NJ
Posts: 836
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lol
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(86 Fiero GT-2.8 4spd.)
(88 Dodge Dakota w/ \'97 318 5spd.)
(82 Chevy Silverado -Crew Cab, Dualie w/ 11ltr Caterpillar 3208 diesel out of concrete pump bolted up to TH400 w/ 22% overdrive.)
1995 Pontiac bonneville daily
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05-18-2007, 09:26 PM
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#13
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Boston/North
Posts: 9,214
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 wow, there is no way you could make that ***** up
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BonzoHansen
dumbass.
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05-18-2007, 10:04 PM
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#14
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BadMod
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: hamilton, nj
Posts: 8,889
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bubba428
well its kinda the same job...I was just guessing
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police and security is absolutely not the same job.
__________________
So much stupid, so little time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 79CamaroDiva
It started before I drove your car. I just have to look at it the wrong way and your car poops parts.
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Mercerville MotorSports, LLC
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05-18-2007, 10:14 PM
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#15
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Power Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Old Bridge, NJ
Posts: 2,415
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05-18-2007, 11:36 PM
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#16
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King of Free
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 1,750
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the testicles were obviously meatballs
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2001 Trans Am M6 WS6 Black on Black...on Black
PaceSetter LT's, TSP catted Y,Borla catback, SLP lid
!CAGS, Eibach pro-kit, Bilstein shocks, 5% tint all around
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05-19-2007, 08:29 AM
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#17
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Lord of the rings / 10 Second Club / Meet Coordinator
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Millstone Township, NJ
Posts: 6,385
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regardless the ladies better get used to seeing sausage when they get a bit older if they want to have a social life. Funny stuff
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97 T/A Ram Air Convt
Forever dyno queen / 777rwhp 662 rwtq @ 17lbs / 10.2 @ 140
'24 Corvette Z06
'17 Sierra 2500HD Dmax
'17 Lex LS460
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05-19-2007, 08:35 AM
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#18
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13 Second Club
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Edison, NJ
Posts: 887
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That was funny. I am sure that wasnt the 1st nor will it be the last crazy call.
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05-19-2007, 09:09 AM
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#19
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Queen of Destruction / NJFBOA Supporting Sponsor / Moderator / 12 Second Club / 2006 Member of the Year / PITA
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: I dunno..
Posts: 8,327
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oh my... that made my morning.. thank you.
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We're a drinking team with a racing problem.
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05-19-2007, 09:10 AM
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#20
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Somerset County
Posts: 5,559
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 79CamaroDiva
oh my... that made my morning.. thank you. |
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1999 Corvette FRC
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05-19-2007, 11:47 AM
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#21
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Haledon, NJ
Posts: 5,162
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lmfao!  I give you credit for not laughing on the phone!
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1989 IROC-Z 355 LT1 T56 Swapped
2016 Chevy Colorado LT 3.6 v6
2008 Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo 4.7L RIP 12/29/2016
1998 Honda CBR 600F3
2003 Yamaha FX140
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05-19-2007, 03:51 PM
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#22
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2007 Member of the Year
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Seabrook, TX
Posts: 14,281
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Quote:
Originally Posted by j0n
[pre-teenage girl voice]
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So you offered to show her the difference between the sausage and the real thing, didn't you.
__________________
WF=DF
Kommandant of the ACL (Anti Canadian League)
Quote:
Originally Posted by LTb1ow
Junk the pos, spend the money on beer, acquire headache.
Same result cept this headache doesnt last months.
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05-19-2007, 03:59 PM
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#23
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American Road Warrior
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Wastelands of NJ
Posts: 6,116
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I thought this was gonna be a gag about Pres. Bush's daughters or somethin.'
__________________
unstable bob gable: LEGENDARY LEGEND,
ICONIC ICON, AND AMERICAN BAD AZZ!!!
1991 Dodge Spirit R/T: Gran'pa lookin' 150+ mph turbo rocket.
2013 Dodge Avenger RT: Wastelands cruiser.
2008 Crown Vic Police Interceptor: 'Nuff said!
THE ONLY THING THAT SUCKS WORSE THEN IMPORTS ARE RICED OUT IMPORTS!!!
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05-19-2007, 08:20 PM
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#24
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: south river
Posts: 1,289
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lmfao
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-Pete-
BLK 07 CTS M6 2.8
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05-20-2007, 10:55 AM
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#25
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Avatar Abuser
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: 08721-1716
Posts: 5,056
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__________________
JSFBOA
Save a life.
N = R* fp ne fl fi fc L
Last edited by jims69camaro; 05-20-2007 at 10:57 AM.
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2001 Firebird, Formula M6 purchased brand new.
