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01-13-2007, 12:39 PM
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#1
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American Road Warrior
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Wastelands of NJ
Posts: 6,116
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What would Jesus drive?
Most people assume WWJD is for "What would Jesus do?" But the initials really stand for "What would Jesus drive?"
One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because "the Bible says God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury."
But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Lord to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm."
Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast."
Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord."
Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring, "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills."
Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muffler: "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land." And, following the Master's lead, the Apostles car-pooled in a Honda: "The Apostles were in one Accord."
__________________
unstable bob gable: LEGENDARY LEGEND,
ICONIC ICON, AND AMERICAN BAD AZZ!!!
1991 Dodge Spirit R/T: Gran'pa lookin' 150+ mph turbo rocket.
2013 Dodge Avenger RT: Wastelands cruiser.
2008 Crown Vic Police Interceptor: 'Nuff said!
THE ONLY THING THAT SUCKS WORSE THEN IMPORTS ARE RICED OUT IMPORTS!!!
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01-13-2007, 12:49 PM
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#2
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Boston/North
Posts: 9,214
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 nice one
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BonzoHansen
dumbass.
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01-13-2007, 12:55 PM
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#3
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Banned Camp Director Emeritus
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Somerset County
Posts: 8,395
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c'mon. we all know jesus drove a Camaro 8)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by baddest434
and 1 more smart ass answer by you and i'm going to reach into this monitor and grab you by the throat
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01-13-2007, 12:58 PM
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#4
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12 Second Club
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Vineland
Posts: 928
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now thats funny. haha.
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87 iroc with the usual go fast stuff
heavier than your half ton.
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01-13-2007, 01:05 PM
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#5
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: west orange nj
Posts: 2,415
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a white 69 camaro with a big block in it with red raceing stripes its good and evil at the same time
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01-13-2007, 01:55 PM
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#6
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8 Second Club
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 4,315
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good one but i thought WWJD= what would jesus drink!
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01-13-2007, 02:54 PM
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#7
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Edison
Posts: 7,856
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jesus drove a funbus
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1984 Firebird
2000 Z28
2023 Tacoma
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01-13-2007, 03:05 PM
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#8
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Guest
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Then again, "the head of John the Baptist was
brought to King Herod in a CHARGER." - Mark 6:25
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01-13-2007, 03:29 PM
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#9
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Ewing, NJ
Posts: 836
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(86 Fiero GT-2.8 4spd.)
(88 Dodge Dakota w/ \'97 318 5spd.)
(82 Chevy Silverado -Crew Cab, Dualie w/ 11ltr Caterpillar 3208 diesel out of concrete pump bolted up to TH400 w/ 22% overdrive.)
1995 Pontiac bonneville daily
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01-13-2007, 05:08 PM
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#10
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Banned Camp Director Emeritus
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Somerset County
Posts: 8,395
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mercedes should really just stick to making luxury sedans
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Quote:
Originally Posted by baddest434
and 1 more smart ass answer by you and i'm going to reach into this monitor and grab you by the throat
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01-13-2007, 05:24 PM
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#11
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Mays Landing, NJ
Posts: 7,108
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LOL, nice
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2018 Camaro 2SS Redline package, ESC Novi 1500 tuned by EFX, Might Mouse wild catch can, GM STB, smoked ZL1 3rd brake light, Xpel XR Black 35% tint all around, Street Scene front splitter, C7 Carbon ZL1 side skirts, Drake Muscle Car Wickerbill spoiler
2010 Infiniti G37x-Moonlight White w/Graphite interior. Stock...for now. Xpel XR Black tint(hey it's a mod lol)
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01-13-2007, 05:40 PM
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#12
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Ewing, NJ
Posts: 836
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ian
mercedes should really just stick to making luxury sedans
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Eh why The Unimog has been around forever and who else is gona make atruck with front and rear PTO,s 18 forward speeds and 6 reverse!
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(86 Fiero GT-2.8 4spd.)
(88 Dodge Dakota w/ \'97 318 5spd.)
(82 Chevy Silverado -Crew Cab, Dualie w/ 11ltr Caterpillar 3208 diesel out of concrete pump bolted up to TH400 w/ 22% overdrive.)
1995 Pontiac bonneville daily
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01-13-2007, 05:45 PM
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#13
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I will beat you with a toaster!
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 6,054
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jesus drives HEMI cars, hands down...his beater is probably a 440 car...
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01-13-2007, 05:56 PM
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#14
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Guest
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bad64chevelle
jesus drives HEMI cars, hands down...his beater is probably a 440 car...
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1969 Charger Daytona with 440-6
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01-13-2007, 06:41 PM
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#15
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Banned Camp Director Emeritus
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Somerset County
Posts: 8,395
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jesus' beater is probably a 71 hemi cuda convertable
I know if I was the son of god, I'd beat a ton of really rare cars.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by baddest434
and 1 more smart ass answer by you and i'm going to reach into this monitor and grab you by the throat
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01-13-2007, 06:55 PM
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#16
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.
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 1,385
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hahahahhahahahahah that was good -- jz
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01-13-2007, 08:45 PM
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#17
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Fidget Lover
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: P-town, New Jersey
Posts: 1,890
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Jesus drives a 66 Impala, candy red with 14' 100 spoke gold daytons, switches, a 6500 watt stereo by JL Audio, 12 screens, and a .44 in the glove box, all while cruising on 3 wheels bumping that Death Row ****!!!
/ganster rant
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-BaRb-
97 Z28- slightly modded....Back and Badder than ever!
90 Chrysler New Yorker 5th Avenue...Out of my driveway but still in my heart...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tru2Chevy
Barb = fist pump extraordinaire
- Justin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bubba428
just for the record...whos falus is lodged in your sfincter
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01-13-2007, 09:00 PM
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#18
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Galloway, NJ
Posts: 3,964
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Jesus would drive a Ferrari 250 GTO fo sho
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01-13-2007, 10:51 PM
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#19
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15 Second Club
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Vineland
Posts: 6,621
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slasherbarb
Jesus drives a 66 Impala, candy red with 14' 100 spoke gold daytons, switches, a 6500 watt stereo by JL Audio, 12 screens, and a .44 in the glove box, all while cruising on 3 wheels bumping that Death Row ****!!!
/ganster rant
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 nice one barb
actually jesus drives a geo metro just cuz he can, and if anyone says anything about it, he kills them....
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- Founder of the bunny
- Pancake Bunny Club Member #3 
OG!
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01-13-2007, 10:53 PM
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#20
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Co-Founder / Site Admin
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Ewing, NJ
Posts: 22,476
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Nah, Jesus was pimpin' a Dodge Spirit.....
- Justin
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1999 Camry - Beigemobile DD
2002 Suburban - Wife's DD
2004 Grand Cherokee - Not running / Project / Selling?
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01-13-2007, 10:55 PM
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#21
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American Road Warrior
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Wastelands of NJ
Posts: 6,116
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Ever hear the Ministry song "Jesus built my hot rod?"
__________________
unstable bob gable: LEGENDARY LEGEND,
ICONIC ICON, AND AMERICAN BAD AZZ!!!
1991 Dodge Spirit R/T: Gran'pa lookin' 150+ mph turbo rocket.
2013 Dodge Avenger RT: Wastelands cruiser.
2008 Crown Vic Police Interceptor: 'Nuff said!
THE ONLY THING THAT SUCKS WORSE THEN IMPORTS ARE RICED OUT IMPORTS!!!
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01-13-2007, 10:57 PM
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#22
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15 Second Club
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Vineland
Posts: 6,621
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haha nah whats that a southern song?
__________________
- Founder of the bunny
- Pancake Bunny Club Member #3
OG!
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01-13-2007, 10:59 PM
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#23
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Co-Founder / Site Admin
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Ewing, NJ
Posts: 22,476
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Quote:
Originally Posted by unstable bob gable
Ever hear the Ministry song "Jesus built my hot rod?" |
Hell Yea, great song!
Quote:
Soon I discovered that this rock thing was true
Jerry lee lewis was the devil
Jesus was an architect previous to his career as a prophet
All of a sudden, I found myself in love with the world
So there was only one thing that I could do
Was ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long
Ding dang a dong bong bing bong
Ticky ticky thought of a gun
Everytime I try to do it all now baby
Am I on the run
Why why why why why baby
If its so evil then?
Give me my time, with all my power
Give it to me all again (wow)
Ding a ding a dang a dong dong ding dong
Every where I go
Everytime you tell me baby
When I settle down
Got to get me a trailer park
And hold my world around
Why why why why?
Ding ding donga dong dong ding dong
Dingy dingy son of a gun
Half my time I tell you baby
Never am I all for sure
Why why why why why baby
Sicky sicky from within
Everytime I stick my finger on in ya
Youre a wild wild little town bitch
Now how bout ding a dang dong dong dong ling long
Dingy a dingy dong a down
Everytime you tell me baby
When I settle down
Got to get me a trailer park
And hold my world around
Why why why why?
In my dang a ding a ding a ding dong
A sticky sticky son of a gun
Ding a danga danga dong dong ding dong
Why why never know
Why why wack a dong a dang ding dong
Then you take it on the bill
Ding dang dong dont dong
Whoa!
I wanna love ya!
Why why why, why why darling
Do you do you tell me to play?
Half the time I talk about it all now baby
You know what Im talkin about I said
Why why why itll
Ticky ticky ticky ticky
Son of a gun
Ding ding dong a bong bong bing bong
Ticky ticky thought of a gun
Bing bing bang a bang a bang bing bong bing a bing bang a bong
Binga bing a bang a bong bong bing bong bing banga bong
Bing bing bang a bong bong bing bing binga binga banga bong
Bing bing bang a bang bang bing bong
Aarrrhhhh...
Ding dang a dang bong bing bong
Ticky ticky thought of a gun
Everytime I try to do it all now baby
Am I on the run
Why why why
Itll ticky ticky ticky ticky ticky ticky
Dawn of a gun
Bing bing bang a bong a bong bing bang a
Ticky ticky thought of a gun
Bing bip bip a bop bop boom bam
Ticky ticky through the day
If you got a doubt bout baby
The memory is on the bed
Why why why why why
Darlin uh it dont know
When my time is on
Might tell me never do it on his own
If my time was all as is yours
Make me burn a wish
When my time with you is brutish
No Ill never not ever
Why why why why why why baby heavy hell
Alone and its here its this thunder
The thunder oh thunder
Oh!
Jesus built my car
Its a love affair
Mainly jesus and my hot rod
Yeah, **** it!
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- Justin
__________________
1999 Camry - Beigemobile DD
2002 Suburban - Wife's DD
2004 Grand Cherokee - Not running / Project / Selling?
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01-14-2007, 02:15 PM
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#24
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Ewing, NJ
Posts: 836
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never heard it myself1
__________________
(86 Fiero GT-2.8 4spd.)
(88 Dodge Dakota w/ \'97 318 5spd.)
(82 Chevy Silverado -Crew Cab, Dualie w/ 11ltr Caterpillar 3208 diesel out of concrete pump bolted up to TH400 w/ 22% overdrive.)
1995 Pontiac bonneville daily
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01-14-2007, 03:47 PM
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#25
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NJFBOA Co-Founder
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: All up in your kool aid!
Posts: 12,235
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ministry, jesus built my hot rod, from the album psalm 69 
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